inflatable you

Tim Minchin

Your love for me is not debatable
Your sexual appetiteââ?¬â?¢s insatiable
You never ever make me waitable
Delectable, inflatable you

You donââ?¬â?¢t have problems with your weight at all
You never steal food off my plate at all
I never have to masturbate at all
Unstoppable, inflatable you

You never seem to menstruate at all
So youââ?¬â?¢re not angry when Iââ?¬â?¢m late at all
I feel permanently felatable
Unpoppable, inflatable you

With you in my arms I feel we could just fly away
With the right kind of gas I might even try it some day
In this ocean of life Iââ?¬â?¢m never afraid I might drown
We could just float forever whatever the weather
Whenever my inflatable loverââ?¬â?¢s around

Your thighs and buttocks are so holdable
You always do what you are toldable
And if we argue you just foldable
Controllable, consolable you

My mates all reckon you are suitable
I took you ââ?¬Ë?round to watch the football
And Steve and Gary said youââ?¬â?¢re rootable
Commutable, refutable you

Youââ?¬â?¢re never sensitive or tickly
When I rub you my skin goes prickly
Itââ?¬â?¢s known as static electricity
Felicity when Iââ?¬â?¢m kissing you

Your skin is so smooth ââ?¬â?? I couldnââ?¬â?¢t afford you with hair
You have all the holes real girls have got plus one for the air
Your problems are simple, I donââ?¬â?¢t need my Masters in Psych
To know if you get down I just perk you right up
With a couple of squirts from the pump off my bike

You never wake up when I snore at all
A trait which I find quite adorable
You have a box and you are storable
Ignorable, back-doorable you

Any sexual positionââ?¬â?¢s feasible
Although you donââ?¬â?¢t bend at the knees at all
Your hooters are so firm and squeezable
Increasable, un-creasable you

You donââ?¬â?¢t complain about my hairy back
Or ââ?¬Ë?bout the inches that downstairs I lack
Youââ?¬â?¢re not disgusted by my furry crack
ââ?¬¦Burt Bacharach ââ?¬¦Jack Kerouac ââ?¬¦ooo

Now birth control is not an issue
I clean it all off with a tissue
I bet my jealous friends all wish you
Were insatiably, inflatably theirs

Donââ?¬â?¢t let me down
Donââ?¬â?¢t let me down
Donââ?¬â?¢t let me down
And I wonââ?¬â?¢t let you down