james bond vs austin powers

Epic Rap Battles Of History

Epic rap battles of history!
James Bond
Versus
Austin powers
Begin!

[James Bond]
I ve beefed with Le Chiffre
and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar
But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are
I ll go balls to the Walther on this whack twat in an ascot
Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot
Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down?
I ve earned it
I m licenced to kill, you couldn t get a learner s permit
After twenty-four films, I m still reaching new heights
Your third movie died, guess You Only Live Twice
Spell my name, the ladies wanna B-on-D
Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me
I m bespoke from my head to my toe
and after this flow I m done
I only need one round, Golden Gun

[Austin Powers]
You look a lot more blonde in your movie, baby
That s alright, let s just keep it groovy baby! (Yeah!)
Basil Exposition told me this would be boring
But Jesus, man, even my mojo s snoring!
I ve never seen such a miserable spy
I ve also never seen a man with glistening thighs
I mean you can t shag properly with that waxed tush
Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush (Yeah!)
I hypnotize you with a little strip tease
And then judo chop, I m swinging on you like the sixties
(Yeah!)
You re defenseless; my rhymes can t be deflected
You re like all the sex I ve ever had, unprotected (Yeah!)
People want a hero with a little personality
No one wants to sit through your gritty reality
Maybe Q can craft some new plot lines
You ve made Thunderball two bloody times!
I m one of a kind you re always getting remade
You can t touch me, double-oh behave

[James Bond]
Ugh! Can t believe I m wasting my time with this clown
I should be on an island with a fucking model by now
Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis
Not rapping against Swedish penis pumping weenies

[Austin Powers]
Yeah that s not mine

[James Bond]
I didn t say I was finished, I m sick of your silly gimmicks
I m the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics
I ve been through hell, so yeah, I m a bit of a cynic
But I m the original model that your frilly ass mimics!

(I wouldn t exactly call you original)
It s the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage
Handing out ass-whippings
I m on some real James Bondage
Your performance doesn t stir me and I m certainly not shaken
If I wanted shitty acting in my action film
I d go and watch Taken
I see your modern gadgets and I piss on them all
I don t need a Q to break your balls
I m the granddad of the brand millions of fans
have been sold on
You re so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond
Gold Bond