perfectionist

Russ

Yeah
I got to let this one breathe a little bit
9th Wonder
CHOMP 2. 5
Yeah

I m a recovering perfectionist
a self-destructive specialist
My 32nd session with my therapist is evidence
That I can t see I ve made it, I m like Dee Brown, wow
I gotta couple chapters, I m ashamed to read out loud
I m workin on it, tho I m tryna be more patient with myself
I robbed myself of so much joy
I m making payments to myself
I m still in debt tho
Need to take my coat off, settle in, ignore the dress code
I know that the hardest step is walking past my threshold
I m in my Depeche Mode
Tryna just enjoy the silence, it s so hard to let go
Once I do I m free
I know it s me vs me
I know it s not your job to reaffirm what I believe
I m working on becoming the person I clearly need
So I don t look for what I lack in someone else, I see
That I m still in the in-between
But finally I voluntarily been takin care of me
Was rarely there for me, my inner child s scared of me
I punished him unfairly
We need more solidarity
I don t care bout the people who base skills off popularity
When I can close my eyes
and see myself then I ll have clarity
I love the women who are in my life, specially Sara Lee
This industry s primarily fake, you can deny it
But you silent publicly but showin love to me in private
All my wounds have told a story
All the laughs and money hide em
It s a shame the only language people
speak sometimes is violence
But I don t got pity for people that play themselves
The bed they says uncomfortable s
the same bed that they made themselves
I m showin love they hate themselves
You cannot give them anything
they haven t already gave themselves
You cannot save somebody
if they simply don t wanna save themselves
I shoulda known what time it was
The stab in the back don t hurt
it s when you turn and see who s knife it was
I m just tryna find the love
Looking everywhere but within
A white rapper is a fraction of the air that I m in
An outsider from the jump, it took a minute to hit me
Why would I try to fit in with an industry that don t fit me
This is simply testimonial
Slowly pull back the layers
And get down to who I am
because my fear is a container of my greatness, I hate this
Wait this is just a test of patience
The pain from all my mistakes
is just something I need more grace with
My bruises became my muses
My pain had multiple uses
Went from fuck y all to forget y all
From middle fingers to deuces