Playlist Weird Al Yankovic

weird al yankovic - poodle

The Poodle's a slimy carnivorous beast
In pastures you might find it grazing

It's fangs measure 23-inches, at least
It's antlers are simply amazing
Sometimes it will bury its head in the sand
It's our main source of pork, ham and bacon
But, then again, on the other hand
I could be completely mistaken

weird al yankovic - i m so sick of you

You tell a joke and forget the punchline
Why you always wastin' my time?
Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me
Your hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty
I don't know too many females
Who make a habit of biting their toenails
Wo, every time you call, you drive me up the wall
Honey, just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl
I'm sure we'd be happy together
If only one little thing weren't true
Oh baby, I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you
You drink the milk right from the carton
What are you, in kindergarten?
You're belchin' everywhere, foulin' up the air
Then you use my razor to shave your back hair
You don't have an ounce of class
You're just one big pain in the neck
How much more can I take now
Give me a break now
You even snore when you're wide awake now
You tell all your friends we're the perfect couple
Well, maybe you should get a clue
'Cause baby, I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you
Baby, you're so nauseatin'
I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you

And when you softly call my name
It's like I'm listenin' to a squeaky chalk sound
And when you look at me that special way
It's hard for me to keep my lunch down
And when you ask me what I'm thinkin', honey, usually I'm thinkin'
How I'd really like to tie your head completely up in duct tape
So I wouldn't have to listen to you asking me those stupid questions
Over and over again

Well, that disgusting noise you make when you laugh
Gives me a throbbing migraine
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you)
Until you came along, I never dated anyone this low on the food chain
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you)
You've got inhuman body odor
You've got the hair of a boxing promoter
Yeah, your teeth are all yellow, your butt's made of Jell-O
You wake up in a puddle, droolin' on your pillow
I hate the way you crack your knuckles
I hate your whiny loser girlfriends too
But mostly I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you
Really now, you're aggravatin'
I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you
Not to mention irratatin'
I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you
Well, now won't you give my best regards to Satan
I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you

I'm so sick of you
I'm so sick of you
I'm so sick of you
You make me sick
I'm so sick of you, now....

weird al yankovic - polka your eyes out

[Cradle of Love/Billy Idol]
Rock the cradle of love Rock the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true
Rock the cradle of love
I rocked the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true

[Tom's Diner/Susan Vega]
Doo doo doo doo doo doodooo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doodoo doo
(doo doo doo doo doo doodooo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doodoo doo)

[Love Shack/B-52s]
The Love Shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love Shack, baby
(Love Shack, baby, Love Shack)
Hey!

[Pump Up The Jam/Technotronic]
Pump up the jam (hey!) Pump up the jam (hey!)
Pump up the jam, pump it up!

[Losing My Religion/R.E.M.]
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep a view
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough

[Unbelievable/EMF]
The things you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things you say
You're unbelievable
(Oh!)

[Do Me!/Bel Biv Devoe]
Do me, baby, do me, baby
You can do me in the morning, you can
Do me in the night
You can do me when you wanna do me
Yodel-ay-ee-hoo!

[Enter Sandman/Metallica]
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land

[The Humpty Dance/Digital Underground]
The Humpty Dance isyour chance to do the Hump
Do me, baby
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Do me, baby
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

[Cherry Pie/Warrant]
She's my cherry pie
Put a smile on your face ten miles wide
Look so good, make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie-yi-yi
Woo!

Drum solo!

[Miss You Much/Janet Jackson]
I miss you much (M-O-I miss youou much)
I really miss you much (M-I-S-S you much)
I miss you much (M-O-I miss you much)
I really miss you much

[I Touch Myself/DiVinyls]
Hey, I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Oh, I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no

[Dr. Feelgood/Motley Crue]
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's the one that makes you feel all right
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's gonna be your Frankenstein

[Ice Ice Baby/Vanilla Ice]
Let's kick it!
If you got a problem, (yo!) I'll solve it
Check out the beat while the DJ revolves it
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby...Word to your mother!
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby, forever
I'll be your ice, ice, baby!
Hey!

weird al yankovic - spam

(lyrics by "Weird Al" Yankovic,
Parody of "Stand" by R.E.M.)

Spam in the place where I live. (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now. (oh boy)
Spam in my lunchbox at work. (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwich, any way you slice it at all.

If you're running low, go to the store.
Carry some money to help you buy more.
The tab is there to open the can.
The can is there to hold in the spam.

Oh, Spam on the table at home. (ham and pork)
Think about selection, are there different flavors now? (let'seat)
Spam in my office at work. (it's the best)
Think about the stuff it's made from, wonder if it's mysterymeat.

If you need a spoon, keep one around.
Carry a thermos to help wash it down.
Now if there's some left, don't just throw it out.
Use it for spackle or bathroom grout, now.

Spam in my pantry at home. (have some more)
Think of expiration, better read the label now. (oh boy)
Spam breakfast, dinner or lunch. (it's the best)
Think about how it's been pre-cooked, wonder if I'll just eat itcold.

Now once you start in, you can't put it down.
Don't leave it sitting or it'll turn brown.
The key is going to open the tin.
The tin is there to keep the spam in.

Oh Spam, Spam. (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now. (oh boy)
Spam, Spam. (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwich any way you slice it.
Spam in the place where I live. (have some more)
Think about addiction, wonder if I'm a junkie now. (let's eat)
Spam in the place where I work. (you're obsessed)
Think about the way it's processed, wonder if it's some kind ofmeat.
Spam in the back of my car. (ham and pork)
The tab is there to open the can. (spam any place that you are)
The can is there to hold in the spam. (spam any place that youare)
Oh Spam!

weird al yankovic - a complicated song

Uh huh ... extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame
No one came

Just us eatin' all alone
You said, "Take the pizza home"
"No sense lettin' all this go to waste"
So then I faced

Pizza all day
And every day
This cheese 'round the clock
Is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care
For irregularity

Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No no no

I was feelin' pretty down
'Till my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way
I gotta say

In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me

Who would have guessed
Her family crest
I'd suddely spy
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
It's just like the one on me

Tell me
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have
dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
No no no no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no

I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide

Said not to stand
But that's a demand
That I couldn't meet
I got on my feet
And stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see

Tell me
Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now ... Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore
I can't belch or yodel anymore
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated

Oh no
Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze
But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No no no

weird al yankovic - aardvark

The Aardvark is really a curious creature
If you're an ant then he's likely to eat ya
Although his long nose makes him look rather hideous
He's still listed first in the encyclopedias

weird al yankovic - achy breaky song

You can torture me
With Donnie & Marie
You can play some Barry Manilow
Or you can play some schlock
Like New Kids On The Block
Or any Village People song you know
Or play Vanilla Ice
Hey, you can play him twice
And you can play the Bee Gees any day
But Mr. DJ, please
I'm beggin' on my knees
I just can't take no more of Billy Ray

Don't play that song
That "Achy Breaky" song
The most annoying song I know
And if you play that song
That "Achy Breaky" song
I might blow up my radio, ooo...

You can clear the room
By playind Debbie Boon
Or crank your Abba records until dawn
Oh, I can even hear
Slim Whitman or Zamfir
Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon
Or play some Tiffany
On 8-track or CD
Or scrape your fingernails across the board
Or tie me to a chair
And kick me down the stairs
Just please don't play that stupid song no more

Don't play that song
That "Achy Breaky" song
You know I hate that song a bunch
And if you play that song
That nauseating song
It might just make me lose my lunch, ooo...

Don't play that song
That "Achy Breaky" song
I think it's driving me insane
Oh, please don't play that song
That irritating song
I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain...

Don't play that song
That "Achy Breaky" song
The most annoying song I know
And if you play that song
That "Achy Breaky" song
I might blow up my radio, ooo-woo...

weird al yankovic - addicted to spuds

Potato skins, potato cakes
Hash browns, and instant flakes
Baked or boiled or french fried
There's no kind you haven't tried

You planned a trip to Idaho
Just to watch potatoes grow
I understand how you must feel
I can't deny they've got appeal

Whoah
You like them whether they are plain or they're stuffed, oh yeah
Better face the facts, it seems you can't get enough
You know, you're gonna have to face it
You're addicted to spuds

Your greasy hands, your salty lips
Looks like you found the chips
Your belly aches, your teeth grind
Some tator tots would blow your mind

And you don't mind if they're not cooked
You need your fix, I guess you're hooked
And late at night you always dream
Of bacon bits and sour cream

Whoah, you like them even if they're lumpy or tough, oh yeah
Whee, It's pretty obvoius to me you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it
You're addicted to spuds

Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds

Ooh yeah

I'm givin' up, it'sjust no use
Another case of spud abuse
What can I say, what can I do
Potato bug has got me too, Wahoo

I used to hate them, now they're all that I eat, oh yeah
Whee, I've often seen then whipped, but they just can't be beat
Now I'm gonna have to face it
I'm addicted to spuds

Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds

Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds

weird al yankovic - ahmish paradise

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise

weird al yankovic - airline amy

Met this pretty young stewardess on a non-stop flight
She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight
Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places
That I never really wanted to go
'Cause I'll do anything just to spend a little time
With the sutest flight attendant I know

You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy
Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flyer, Airline Amy
Found a little piece of heaven on a 747
And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy

Every one of our dates is at thirty thousand feet
She always points out the exits to me, she's so sweet
You know she gets me my headphones for free
Refills my coffee cup whenevr I ask
And you gotta admit my baby looks pretty hot
When she's wearin' that oxygen mask

Well well, you set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy
Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flyer, Airline Amy
Found a little piece of heaven on a 747
And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy

Amy, darlin', don't you know you really drive me nuts
Every time you're handing out those honey roasted peanuts
Airline Amy, this is my new mission
Gotta get you in an upright locked position

Oh yeah, you set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy
Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flyer, Airline Amy
Found a little piece of heaven on a 747
And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy
Yeah yeah, you set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy
You're the only woman I desire, Airline Amy Found a little piece of heaven on a 747
And no one else can take me higher
No one else can take me higher
And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy

weird al yankovic - albuquerque

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box underthe
stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a blockdown the
street from Jerry's Bait Shop... You know the place... Wellanyway,
back then life was going swell and everything was juuuuustpeachy...
except of course for the undeniable fact that every singlemorning my
mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut forbreakfast.
Dawww!! Big bowl of sauerkraut!
Every single mornin'! It was driving me crazy.

I said to my mom, I said, "Hey, mom, what's up with all thesauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother, she just looked at me like a cow looksat an
oncoming train. And she leaned right down next to me, and shesaid, "IT'S
GOOD FOR YOU!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck afunnel in my
mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was 26 anda half
years old.

That's when I swore that someday, someday I would get outtathat
basement and travel to a magical, far away place, where the sunis
always shining and the air smells like warm root beer, and thetowels
are oh so fluffy! Where the shriners and the lepers play theirukuleles
all day long, and anyone on the street will gladly shave yourback for
a nickel!

Wacka wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before mydream
came true. Because the very next day, a local radio station hadthis
contest to see who could correctly guess the number of moleculesin
Leonard Nimoy's butt. I was off by three, but I still won thegrand
prize. That's right, a first class, one-way ticket...

to Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh yeah. You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before, andI gotta
tell ya, it was really great... except that I had to sit betweentwo large
Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor. And thelittle kid in
back of me kept throwin' up the whole time. The flight attendantsran out of
Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, and the in-flight movie wasBio-Dome with
Pauly Shore...and, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burnedout, and we
went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the planeexploded in a
giant fireball and everybody died. Except for me. You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha. Ah-ha-ha. Aahhh. So I crawled from the twisted,burnin'
wreckage, I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days,draggin'
along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenorsaxophone
and my 12-pound bowlin' ball and my lucky, lucky autographed
glow-in-the-dark snorkel. But finally I arrived at the worldfamous
Albuquerque Holiday Inn where the towels are oh so fluffy! Andyou can
eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna. It's OK,they're
clean.

Well, I checked into my room, and I turned down the A/C, and Iturned
on the SpectraVision, and I'm just about to eat that littlechocolate
mint on my pillow that I love so very, very much, when suddenlythere's
a knock on the door. Well, now, who could that be?

I say, "Who is it?" No answer.
"Who is it?" There's no answer.
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not sayin' anything.
So finally, I go over and I open the door, and just as Isuspected,
it's some big, fat hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagullshaircut, and
only one nostril. Oh, man, I hate it when I'm right.

So, anyway, he bursts into my room, and he grabs my luckysnorkel, and
I'm like, "Hey, you can't have that! That snorkel's been justlike a
snorkel to me."

And he's like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And he's like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'kay!"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus, and I bit offhis ear
and he chewed off my eyebrows, and I took out his appendix and hegave
a colonic irrigation, yes indeed, you better believe it. Andsomehow in
the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook. Andtwenty
seconds later, I heard a familiar voice. And you know what itsaid?
I'll tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and tryagain.
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.
If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator."

In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel. ButI
made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest, Iwould
not sleep for an instant, until the one-nostrilled man wasbrought to
justice.

But first, I decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car, andI
drove over to the donut shop, and I walked on up to the guybehind the
counter and he says, "Yeah, whaddaya want??"

I said, "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're outta glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said, "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any apple fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any bear claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, I'll go check."

"No, we're outta bear claws!"
I said, "Well, in that case... in that case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starvingcrazed weasels."
I said, "OK, I'll take that."
So he hands me the box, and I open up the lid, and the weaselsjump out
and they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me allover.
Oh, man, they were just goin' nuts! They were tearin' me apart!You
know, I think it was just about that time that a little dittystarted
goin' through my head. I believe it went a little somethin' likethis:

DOH! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me! Ohhh! No, get 'em off, get'em
off! Oh, oh God, oh God! Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God! Ah,
AaaaaaahhhhhhhhhOhhhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels allover my
face, wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin',runnin' like
a constipated wiener dog. And as luck would have it, that'sexactly
when I ran into the girl of my dreams. Her name was Zelda. Shewas a
caligraphy enthusiast, with a slight overbite, and hair the colorof
strained peaches. I'll never forget the very first thing she saidto
me. She said, "Hey, you've got weasels on your face."

That's when I knew it was true love. We were inseparable afterthat.
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the samepiece
of mint-flavored dental floss. The world was our burrito. So wegot
married, and we bought us a house and had two beautifulchildren,
Nathaniel and Superfly. Oh we were so very, very, very happy, ohyeah.
But then, one fateful night, Zelda said to me, she said,"Sweetie
pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said,"Woah!
Hold on now, baby! I'm just not ready for that kind of acommitment!"

So we broke up, and I never saw her again
but that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me, because about aweek
later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream. That's right, I gotme a
part-time job at the Sizzler! I even made employee of the monthafter I
put out that grease fire with my face. Aw yeah, everybody waspretty
jealous of me after that. I was gettin' a lot of attitude.

OK, like one time, I was out in the parkin' lot, tryin' to removemy excess
earwax with a golf pencil, when I see this guy Marty
tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself. SoI-I say to
him, I say, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And
Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, "No, I want you
to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!" So I did.

And then he gets all indignant on me. He's like, "Hey, man, I wasjust
being sarcastic!" Well, that's just great. How was I supposed toknow
that? I'm not a mind reader, for cryin' out loud. Besides, nowhe's got
a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy! So what's he complainingabout?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote. This guy comesup to
me on the street and he tells me he hasn't had a bite in threedays.
Well, I knew what he meant, but just to be funny, I took a bigbite out
of his jugular vein. And he's yelling and screaming and bleedingall
over, and I'm like, "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?" But he justkeeps
rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding and screaming,"Aaaahhhh!
AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!" You know, completely missing theirony of
the whole situation. Man, some people just can't take a joke, youknow?

Anyway, um...um...where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway, I-I know it's kind of a roundabout wayof
saying it, but, I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make hereis...
I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really tryin' to say. And, by the way,
if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in anexistential
quandry, full of loathing and self-doubt and wracked with thepain and
isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence, at least you cantake
a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there inthis
crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours, there's still a littleplace

called Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I said A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
.... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!
*burp*
heh heh heh heh

weird al yankovic - alimony

Here she comes now, wants her alimony
Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony
Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now
Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)

(Yeah) 'Cause she took my house (alimony), my car (alimony)
My shoes (alimony) and my toothbrush too (alimony)
Too bad (alimony), so sad (alimony)
Ah-she got (alimony), got the gift of grab (alimony)
I'm in debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt)

Lawyer's callin' me on the telephony
Tryin' to squeeze some blood from a stonee-stony
Ooh, I took her for better or for worse, yeah
Then she took me for everything, yeah everything
She could get (get), get (get), get (get), get (get), get (get)

(Get) Well I'm out of cash (alimony), no dough (alimony)
I'm broke (alimony), it's no joke (alimony)
The check's in the mail (alimony), get off (alimony)
My back (alimony), cut me some slack (alimony)
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)

(Ooh, I want my alimo-mo-mony) Oh you do
(Ooh, I want my alimo-mo-mony) Is it due
(Ooh, I want my alimo-mo-mony) Or you'll sue
(Ooh, I want my alimo-mo-mony)

Alimony (yeah), mony (yeah)
Yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)

Wow

(cash register "ching")

(Alimony, alimony, alimony) I said (alimony)
Come on, come on, come on

Alimony, alimony, alimony
Bleed me dry (alimony)

I said no (no), oh no (no)
No (no), no (no), no (no), no (no), no (no)

weird al yankovic - alligator

Deep inside the merky swamp
There lives the Alligator
His policy is first to chomp
And then ask questions later
Although his lifestyle may seem crass,
I really wouldn't knock it
He'd never wear a shirt that has
A yuppie on the pocket

weird al yankovic - alternative polka

Medley arranged by "Weird Al" Yankovic

["Loser" by Beck]
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser, baby,
So why don't you kill me?
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser, baby,
So why don't you kill me?
Hey!

["Sex Type Thing" by Stone Temple Pilots]
I am I am I am
I said I wanna get next to you.
I said I'm gonna get close to you.
You wouldn't want me have to hurt you, too.
Hurt you, too.
I know you want what's on my mind.
I know you like what's on my mind.
I know it eats you up inside.
I know you know, you know, you know.
Here I come I come I come I come.
Here I come I come I come.

["All I Want To Do" by Sheryl Crow]
All I wanna do is have some fun.
I gotta feeling I'm not the only one.
All I wanna do is have some fun.
I gotta feeling I'm not the only one.
All I wanna do is have some fun.
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard.

["Closer" by NIN]
Help me--I broke apart my insides.
Help me--I've got no soul to sell.
Help me--The only thing that works for me.
Help me get away from myself.
I wanna *poink* you like an animal.
I wanna feel you from the inside.
I wanna *boing* you like an animal.
My whole existence is flawed.
You get me closer to God.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

["Bang and Blame" by REM]
You bang bang bang bang bang.
Blame blame blame.
You bang bang bang bang bang.
It's not my thing so let it go.

["You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morisette]
'Cause the love that you gave every day wasn't able
to make it enough for you to be open wide
No!
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me
You'd hold me until you died?
'Til you died.
Well you're still alive!
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away.
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me.
You-ou-ou-ou-ou oughta know!

Hey!

["Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by Smashing Pumpkins]
Despite all my rage,
I am still just a rat in a cage!
Despite all my rage,
I am still just a rat in a cage!
And someone will say
What is lost can never be saved.
Despite all my rage,
I am still just a rat in a cage!

["My Friends" by Red Hot Chili Peppers]
I love all of you
Hurt by the cold.
So hard and lonely, too
When you don't know yourself.

["I'll Stick Around" by Foo Fighters]
I don't owe you anything!
I don't owe you anything!
I don't owe you anything!
I don't owe you anything!

["Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden]
Black Hole Sun
Won't you come
And wash away the rain?
Black Hole Sun
Won't you come, won't you come
Black Hole Sun, Black Hole Sun
Won't you come
Black Hole Sun, Black Hole Sun
Won't you come
Black Hole Sun, Black Hole Sun

["Basket Case" by Green Day]
Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one those melodramatic fools.
Neurotic to the bone,
No doubt about it.
Sometimes I give myself the creeps!
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me!
It all keeps adding up.
I think I'm cracking up.
And am I just paranoid
Or am I just stoned?
Or am I just stoned-oh-oh-oh-oh-ned?

Hey!

weird al yankovic - amoeba

The Amoeba is so small you need
A microscope to see one
It hurts the eyes, but I'll concede,
I'd rather see then be one
They never sing or laugh or talk
Or eat fondeaux or ciche
And if you take one for a walk
You need a tiny leash
I know the thing must have a brain
Although I couldn't tell you where
It sure must be an awful pain
To be so unicellular

weird al yankovic