Playlist Blue October

blue october - amnesia

Trampoline
I'm your
Trampoline
Oh you jump so hard but I always catch your fall
So now I'll just
Hide away (you know I think I will)
Hide away
Oh, I run so fast but I always lose them all

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up with amnesia
And try to forget the things I've done
I wish I knew how to keep the promises I made you
But life i guess it goes on
Yeah I know it goes on
You see I've learned it goes on

But then I'll hang us on the wall
And I'll crawl in the open side
And I'm blind to it all
So why don't you
Crawl in my open side and become blind to it all

You know I think it's time to pray
For the contortion, my abortion
That I somehow shoved away
I think it's right for me (yeah I think it's right for me)
When I was young I was stung
And somehow lost God's faith

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up with amnesia
And try to forget the things I've done
I wish I knew how to keep these promises I made
But I guess life goes on
Yeah I know it goes on
You see I've learned it goes on

Way back when I must have sinned
I break down profound, beginning, end
Head trip re-grip what doesn't mend
But I'm wishing this amnesia would kick in [repeat 2x]

blue october - let the sandman descend

Reaching Out to Save You
Arms Across the Shore
Holding On to Something
With a Reason That's Long Gone Before

The Search Is Back On Again
I Offer My Call

Near Or Far
I Should Have Known
You'd Go
Right From the Start
Don't Know Where You Are
Don't Know Where You`ve Gone

Waking Up the Morning
Chasing You Away
The Sun Is Vapourising
Every Moment I'm Longing to Save

( For You ) the Search Is Back On Again
You Captured My Thought

Near Or Far
I Should Have Known
You'd Go
Right From the Start
Don't Know Where You Are
Don't Know Where You've Gone

blue october - tomorrow

Tomorrow
I?m Gonna Find a Way to Die
I?m Living Only For a Lover
And the Death of You and I
But If You Find a Way to Break My Back
With Needles, Thread, and Guilt
Will You Cover Me in Kerosene
And Burn My Strychnine Quilt
Yeah, Will You Spit Upon the Path I Took
Will You Cry From All the Drugs I Took
Will Be My Little Come Down Hook
And I?ll Never Ask Again
Will I Wake Up Feeling Half of You
Has Been Striped Or Torn in Two
To Kill a Young Man?s Point of View
Is to Kill His Only Friend
Oh, Oh

Tomorrow
We?re Gonna Find a Place to Live
I?m Packing Only Means For Red Wood Dreams
It?s a Place That You?ll Be Excepted
Oh Fuck the World
Just a Boy and a Girl
But It?s That Leach You?ll Have to Shake
Through the Love We?ll Need to Make
Call Me Sure
Yeah I?m Sure I Said
I Said I?m Open Wide
But You Really Have to Understand
We?ll Build a Water Slide
If You?re Brave Enough to Hold My Hand
Oh, Oh

blue october - hate me

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you, for you, for you, for you.

blue october - answer

If i can't crawl inside of you,
I'm laughing with a broken face
I stumble across my self esteem.
But to picture the pleasure is making me want my space.

Understand...
That god wrapped you like a bow.
But in my head...
There's some shelves that need cleaning,
From basement to ceiling, control.

If what you're seeing is an open book,
Thats great 'cuz i'm an open book.
But i'm real shy.

There's a part of me seeking and desperatly needing
To open up.
That's strange 'cuz i'm an open book,
A confused boy.

I'm an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people.
My heart while in its cage, is used to give and not
Receive a thing,
But the only funny thing is that i dont know how to give myself advice.

I've got this post dramatic thing
I've got this tattoo of a ring that lies
Around my wedding finger and thats where i want to state this claim.
That i've got to learn to live and dream
Before i go and get myself in love.

In love.

Theres zoloft, welbutrin, theres paxil thats proven,
No side effects.
But the rest left unnamed 'cuz they worked like a charm on me.

But when your savings is drying,
You can't stop from crying
You've got to suck it up.
You're not her buttercup,
You're not her favorite book.

blue october - 3 weeks she sleeps

For 3 weeks, she sleeps
Through the rain
I've gotta try, to keep her dry
Or I'm out of ways
Self books, love cooks
Steel her away
Through you know, and where ya go
All in a day
So, la-di-da la-di-da ah-haa
Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohhhh
La-di-da La-di-da ah-haa
Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohhhh

blue october - for my brother

It Would Simply Say Everything,
If You Would Take a Pen
And Write My Name On a Friend
Who Never Cared to Let Me In.

Take a Fast Ravine That For Three Years Swimming
Straight Upstream
And the Wind Will Drag Me Down in the End.

You Live Inside My Wall
And I Reach Back and Hit Harder Than God Falls
Christ Amen.
You're Such a Line to Break,
I'm So Scared to Make Another Mistake in the End.
But I Just Want to Be Happy Again.

Until It Falls Down
And Where Does That Leave Me,
With Things, Things, I've Got So Many Things to Say.
And With a Broken Heart,
And a Straight Face,
I'm Saying Brother, "Help Me"
It's Just a Natural Phase, That I
Go Through and It's Taken Away
And Then Bam! I'm Fixed.
But I'm in Another Place to Be,
And Can't Sleep Without the Thought of Me
Being So Damn Sick.

So Take This Song Away
Until It All Falls Down,
And Where Does That Leave Me?
With Things, Things, I've Got So Many Things to Say.

And With a Broken Heart,
And a Straight Face,
He Says "Reach For the Girl and Hold Her Close,
Believe You Can Shine When You're Silver
And I Promise You Gold.
And Whenever Yoou're Dark Inside,
Don't Let Go
Remember There's Rain
And There's Candy and Christmasy Winter Snow.
Remember, I Love You the Same
And I'll Strangle You're Pain"

And He Tells Me to Sing
So I Sing, and I Sing
For My Brother Who Keeps Me Sane,
And Tells Me "Everything Will Be O.k.."

I'm So Alone.

blue october - breakfast after 10

White kitchen walls with a thousand windows
you turn on Winston in the den
and I'm still asleep but I can hear the piano
when you make breakfast after 10
and I smell the coffee on your fingers
I still smell the perfume in the bed
the crushed linen roses on everything
and your still inside my head

you gotta make her know how it feels to miss you
let her know your swapping sides
you're not the one with all the problems no no
you're the one with all the pride

so just pick your head up boy and walk away
walk the coolest walk that you know
cause in a month or two she'll call you
you gotta hang up the phone

I hope she knows I got this memory
that won't ever seem to break or bend
a thick lock and sheetrock is on my windows in the kitchen
I dont think I'll ever take them down again

and I've learned a lot from all these break ups and make ups
and fuck ups and fake ups
things that I wish you could comprehend, yeah comprehend
but for now I'll lace up my wingtip shoes, boys
and I'll go and have breakfast with my good friends

you gotta make her know how it feels to miss you
let her know your swapping sides
you're not the one with all the problems
you're not the one with all the problems
you're the one with all the pride

you gotta make her know how it feels to miss you
let her know your swapping spit
you're not the one with all the problems
you're not the one with all the problems
she's the one that's full of shit

so just pick your head up boy and walk away
walk the coolest walk that you know
I know you know that in a month or two she'll call you
you gotta hang up the phone

blue october - black orchid

Have You Ever Been So Lonely,
No One There to Hold?
Pull Me in Or Disown Me,
And Then Climb Inside.
My Arms Are Open Wide.
Have a Look Inside.

It Is Not That I Am Scared to Learn,
Why I'm Empty Inside.
Hold My Hand Or Show Some Concern,
If I Live Or Die.
My Eyes Are Open Wide.
Help Me Look Inside.

I Hear the Water Drip From the Faucet.
It's Sweetly Falling in Tune.
I'm Gently Closing the Closet.
I Fall to the Floor,
And Crawl to My Room.
The Thought of Ending It Soon...
Just Let Me Sleep in My Room.

Hear Me Cry! Cry! Cry!
I Hear a Knock At the Front Door.
Don't Come In!
I Try to Look At You
But I Can't Stop Shaking.
Leave Me Alone. Just Go Away.
Mother I'm So Scared.

Empty Bed and All of the Sheets Are Gone,
They're Wrapped Around Me and You.
All Is Quiet But the Drop of a Gun.
I Want to Belong...to Someone...
But Maybe Life's Not For Everyone.

blue october - drilled a wire through my cheek

I try to stay on top of you
To hold your body down
Your shaking seems to hinder
Every grap that I have found

Moving every inch around me
To defuse your private bomb
I stretch myself surrounding
And protecting you from harm

I use a wallet for your mouth
So when you bite you will not bleed
I drilled a wire through my cheek
And let it down and out my sleeve

And as your pulling out the best of me
Yeah which never ever comes
This wires all thats left of me
And its hooked within my gums
within my gums...

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

Its proof to show that I bleed for this
And ive cut myself the shame
But to get to know this macicist
Who has stolen my first name

Pretending he's a teacher
Holding all my weight at ease
Yet the teacher seems to split in two
Destroying both his knees

Now crawling I position myself
Below your broken wing
I lift your featherd left arm
Where you hide your heart for me

I never noticed it was swolen
With the touch of brutal pain
I never knew a heart could live inside
The rust from all your rain
all your rain...

So drill it, so drill it
so hard
feel it
[Kirk screaming]

So drill it, so drill it
so hard
feel it
[Kirk screaming]

I didnt think to bring a wash cloth
And rub away the dirt
Myself and I we share
This barely beating heart of hurt

And when the hurt comes theres an argument,
A fight to save a smile
A small attack on human tears
To dry them for a while

A dream we all should count on ;
Yeah a vision i believe
Where confidence is found
Attached to wires on our sleeve

Where lonelyness is history
Told to pack your shit and leave
Where guidance is a fortune
Told to help in time of need

And were crying emits secrets
Its the art of how we greiv
And lessons are the key
To every goal I will acheive
I will achieve

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]
So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

So drill it, so drill it
so hard
feel it
[Kirk screaming]

So drill it, so drill it
so hard
feel it
[Kirk sreaming]

blue october - drop

I touch the tongue to see
A devil's face in front of me
A sad man in front of me
You blown your nose then cried
And the clown demands a sad good-bye
A sad man a sad good bye

Black below the tree
White horses dead in front of me
A sad man in front of me
A scar below the cheek
Where there's a sweaty man with a bloody sink.
A sad man a bloody sink. so?

[chorus]
It's just a trip not a way to ease your pain
(this is not a way to ease you pain)
Self help...tell another shrink the same damn thing
(a simple way to ease your pain)
Stay cool, everything is going to be okay
(think it?s about a time to ease your pain)
Until you decide to drop again
Until you decide to drop again

A blue jean girl to be
And still a sweaty man is behind the trees
Behind the trees

The flip side of sanity is the game
I?m fourteen million miles away
I?m fourteen million miles away, away from sane
A dark man in the restroom window pane
Whose words just pour out human pain.

[repeat chorus]

Now i'm so high, so high.
So high, so high, so high you decide
'til you decide to drop again
Carnival ride to trip again
Until you decide, until you decide, until you decide
'til you decide to drop again
A carnival ride to trip again
Until you decide, until you decide, until you decide

It's just a trip not a way to ease your pain
Self help; tell another shrink the same damn thing
Until you decide to drop again...

blue october - for the love

(Come here.. babe why are you crying?
Because I want to stay with you
Your mommy loves you very much)

Communication,
I wait to see if we could ever get together and talk like we used to
We get together and we talk like we used to
But you don't want to
You want a separation
And now that's strike three
I try everything, I work so hard for you
To constantly hear how I fail and abandon you
I put my heart in a dream
And now that dream it makes sure the baby - she has food to eat-and your fancy house gets paid for you hear me?
You never learned one thing, no-you never believed in me..
So if you're gonna leave-get out - just remember this is what I'm all about;

I do it for the love,
I do it for the rain,
I do it for the passion,
I do it for the pain
I do it for the rush,
I do it for the doubt..
I do it for my daughter, man, 'cause she's what I'm about
I do it for my mom,
I do it for my dad
Do it for my sanity, it's hanging from a thread
I do it for the audience who understands the need
Standing on the stage, cut the shit and let it bleed

So pack it up, pack it in
Write it up, write it down
Just remember that I told you it's what I'm all about
Wait wait wait...
I missed the tour where you told me not to come home again
An ex-boyfriend was taking my place at our first Lamaze
(You've gotta be kidding me)
How hard that was because 'cause your voice so crooked and wrong,
You would bury your intentions like motherfucking nuclear bomb (nuclear bomb!)
I lived in a hotel room 'til the day she was born
And I never knew what it was to say
That could get us through our first chance at divorce
You promised change and I believed
I walked right back into the same
So if you're gonna leave me- go away

I do it for the love
I do it for the rain
I do it for the passion,
I do it for the pain
I do it for the rush,
I do it for the doubt
I do it for my daughter, man, 'cause she's what I'm about
I do it for my mom,
I do it for my dad,
I do it for my sanity hanging from a thread
I do it for the audience who understands the need
Standing on the stage, cut the shit and let it bleed

I do it for my brother,
I do it for his wife
I do it for my manager, cause god he saved my life
I do it for the confidence
I do it for release
I do it cause I'm sick of feeling sad, it's war and peace
I do it for the sunshine
For my friends
I do it for you, for you over and over and over again
But you would never understand
So fuck it!
So pack it up, pack it in, write it up, write it down, remember I told you it's what I'm all about
(get out! go away!)[?]

I do it for the love,
I do it for the rain,
I do it for the passion,
I do it for the pain
I do it for the rush,
I do it for the doubt..
I do it for my daughter, man, 'cause she's what I'm about
I do it for my mom,
I do it for my dad
I do it for my sanity, it's hanging from a thread
I do it for the audience who understands the need
Standing on the stage, cut the shit and let it bleed

I do it for the love
For the love
Do it for the love for the love
I do it for the love
Do it do it do it
For the love
For my daughter
So pack it up
Pack it in
Write it up write it down
Just remember that I told you, it's what I'm all about.

blue october - 2am lovesick

A Walk Like a Burned Out Porn Star
With Aching Feet For a Car
My Buddy Had a Baby With a Girl Named Star
Makes Me Appreciate How the Little Things Are

But Crossing a Road Isn't Easily Told
To a Young Has-been Centerfold
Labelled a Winner's Episode

Yeah, I'm Really Clean If You Know What I Mean
Except For This Recurring Dream
Of Losing Total Feeling
While the Windmill's Squealing
The Windmill's Squealing

I Paint to Kill the Dead Saints
I Paint to Make It Clear
My Colors Run in Blue and Gray
But They Give Hope to Someone Dear

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, 2am Lovesick
With a Walking Pneumonia Drumkick
And This Candle Doens't Have a Wick
But I'm Really Not That Scared
No, I'm Not That Scared

A Walk Like a Burned Out Porn Star
With Aching Feet For a Car
My Buddy Had a Baby With a Girl Named Star
Makes Me Appreciate How the Little Things Are

blue october - amazing

How am I supposed to breathe?
I try to relax. I touch your still frame
So I can watch you closer
And study the ways I believe I belong to you
I scratch at your waist line... your doll hair
I dig up the thought of how your eyes glow
So I make you my religion, my collision, an escape goat
So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?

[Chorus]
Can you pretend I'm amazing?
I can pretend I'm amazing...
Instead of what we both know
I cut to the punch line baby
Can you pretend I'm amazing
Instead of what we both know

Now our history is for sale
And for that I apoligize
You see you're my only know how
The study of when I believe I belonged to you
You see I've made you into something delicious,
My sweet ghost
So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?

[Chorus]

blue october - balance beam

I havent been quite the same,
so sure the story of my life would never change.
But in a bright-eyed way, she rinsed out the soap in my eyes,
and wrote a song that I'm about to sing.

She's a magnetic girl
That I hardly even know.
So this is not another love song.
Just a list of things that I should know,
and everyone should know.

That...

1. You gotta take it kinda slowly
2. you gotta hurry up and make your move
3. You gotta tell her that she's pretty
4. You gotta be the perfect gentelman.

When you shake the walls, you gotta make 'em bend.
You gotta show her that
She's the balance beam
and I keep falling all around her fairy tale.

We took a walk in the rain.
I suggested, she confess:
"There's a heart nearby to cast the shame."

Stay cool.
But I'm giddy like a school boy.
You gotta handle with care:
This is not a toy.

Then gradually we touched.
And though our clothes were wet, we sat and smiled.
I never thought I'd smile so much
The first kiss always says the most.

Chorus

I want to sing to you.

Eveyone should know that:
Chorus

blue october