MELHORES MÚSICAS / MAIS TOCADAS
adam sandler - 50 ways to get bin laden
The problem's hiding in a cave across the sea,
The answer's easy if you take it logically,
He'll never stop us in our struggle to be free,
There must be.. 50 ways to get Bin Laden,
The President just put a bounty on his head,
He doesn't care if he's alive or if he's dead,
We'll send commandos there to pump him full of lead,
There must be.. 50 ways to get Bin Laden,
50 ways to get Bin Laden,
You just stab him in the back, Jack,
Blow up the cave, Dave,
Step on his veil, Dale,
Just listen to me,
Hit him with a bus, Gus,
Then send in a scud, Bud,
Just hang him from a tree, Lee,
So we can stay free,
It will not grieve us, here, to see him in such pain,
We have to stop him cos he's totally insane,
He's gonna end up with a bullet in the brain,
There must be.. 50 ways to get Bin Laden,
He thought the US would give up without a fight,
But now he's gonna face the full force of our might,
We'll show Osama what is wrong and what is right,
There must be.. 50 ways to get Bin Laden,
50 ways to get Bin Laden,
You just stab him in the back, Jack,
Blow up the cave, Dave,
Step on his veil, Dale,
Just listen to me,
Hit him with a bus, Gus,
Then send in the scud, Bud,
Just hang him from a tree, Lee,
So we can stay free,
You just stab him in the back, Jack,
Blow up the cave, Dave,
Step on his veil, Dale,
Just listen to me,
Hit him with a bus, Gus,
Then send in the scud, Bud,
Just hang him from a tree, Lee,
So we can stay free,
adam sandler - calling home
I'm okay at basketball... baseball was more my thing....
Well, uh, I think they have a pickup game goin on at 10 AM tomorrow
morning in the main gym for us freshmen
You playin?
It's a co-ed game, so it's a good chance to see some hungover chicks run
up and down the court, watch their titties bounce, and hopefully have them
back up into your morning dick wood while you D up...
That could be nice
You wanna head over to that frat party and start shotgunning some beers?
Just give me a few minutes, I gotta call my family, tell em I'm all
situated here...
Good deal... I'll be in the bathroom whackin it
(phone dials and rings)
...that's because Mrs. Snidel had her eyebrows and babushka lasered
off, hello?
Hey mom, I'm at school, I'm all moved in, everything's great...
Oh, wonderful... what side of the room did you take?
You mean left or right or... what do you mean?
What side of the room? Did you go window or electrical outlet?
There's, like, five outlets and the window's in the middle of me and
my roommate...
Oh, so everyone wins, how nice... Does your roommate do ecstasy or
snort heroine?
I didn't ask him, mom...
Well, if he does, tell him you're not interested... Not because you're a
nerd, but say it gives you bad diareah(?)
Okay, ma, sounds good...
Yeah!
I gotta get goin, there's an orientation party that's mandatory for
freshmen to attend...
Oh, you should bring cupcakes... When you hand them out to the other
kids, you say 'hi, my name's Tyler, here's to a sweet first year at
college!'
Uh... okay...
You won't, but you should
I will next time... say hi to everybody for me, mom...
You say hello! It'll take you two seconds! They're all at the dinner table
dying to talk to you... Everyone, Tyler's on the phone!
(background)
Man: Hey, hey, hey! Mr. College!
Woman:Who's on the phone?
Mom:Tyler, mom!
Other Man:Let me talk to the superstar!
Mom: Okay, here's your brother!
Other Man:Thanks, mumsy... Hey shitstains, how's it hangin?
Not bad, Pete... It's pretty awesome here...
You gettin laid yet?
Nah, just unpacked...
But I'm sure you found time to smoke a few dicks and lick a few asses, right?
Nooo...
How's the dining hall? Full of tasty beaver?
Yeah, there were a lot of cute girls... and the food wasn't too bad, either..
they actually served chicken parmigian...
Why don't you slap some of that parmigian cheese on a big fat pair of
college jugs and have them for dinner, you fuckin dickwacker?
I'll work on that...
DER! Anyways, I talked to a couple of my landscaping buddies and we
figured that we got a long weekend with you in early Rocktober, cause
Ronnie James Dio is playin up there...
Oh, okay...
Tell your roommate I got his bed
Uh, you can sleep in my bed
That's where Fitz is sleepin, you fuckin asshole!
Man:Hey, I just wanna say hello! Give me the phone!
Pete:Alright, dad! Sorry I didn't go to college like Alfred Einstein here, but
I'm a person too!
Dad:Just give me the phone, moron... How you doin kiddo?
Good, dad...
You enjoyin your freedom?
Yeah...
Don't get anyone pregnant...
I won't...
Okay... here's your grandma
Dad, I don't have time!
Dad:Say hello, there...
Grandma:Who is it? The ladies from the classical shop?
Pete:No grandma, it's the pharmacy
Grandma:Oh, good! Hi, Dimitri, did the cream for my vaginal warts
come in? Cause, like, we're talkin about they're starting to spread
towards the anus...
Pete:Hahahahaha!
Grandma, it's not Dimitri, it's Tyler...
Oh, hi, Bubbie... why aren't you here? We're getting ready to eat!
Grandma, we talked this morning, remember? I went away to school...
Oh, how marvelous! Well, don't study too much or you'll drive yourself
bananas! Take some time for yourself too
Thanks, grandma, I will
College is supposed to be fun!
Yeah...
I had my first gal on gal experience in college!
Ooh...
Dee Snyder was her name... too much hair downstairs... not for me!
That's nice, grandma...
Alright, don't pierce your nipples!
I won't...
Pete:You didn't know grandma dyked out before, did ya?
No, fortunately she never told me...
Have fun gettin that image out of your head tonight when you beat your meat!
Thanks...
Uh oh, dude! Someone else wants to say hello!
(fart)
Hahahahaha! Did you hear that beef?
Yeah, nice job...
Four straight seconds! Let's hear you rip one that long!
I can't...
Damn right, you can't! Cause they don't teach that in one of your stupid
books! You're either born with it or you're not!
Yeah, you got the magic...
(doorbell)
Hold on a second, dildo, someone's at the door...
I can't hold on, I have to go!
Mom:Coming, just let me put the dog downstairs! Okay!
(Door opens)
You gotta be kidding me....
Man:Hello, there...
Mom:Bernie! What brings you over here?
Bernie:I'm just returning the power drill Walter lent me last week
Dad:That's not my drill, Bernie!
Bernie:Well, I guess it's mine! May I eat now?
Mom:Oh, that's why you came over...
Bernie:Yes...
Dad:Terrific, come join us... Pete, go get Bernie a folding chair from the closet!
Pete:Why can't grandma?
Dad:Just do it!
Bernie:Thank you, Walter... Hello, Yeta, how's your health?
Grandma:My labia lips itch, but other than that, I'm fine... knock on wood!
Dad:See, Yeta? The fake wood leg comes in handy!
Grandma:True dat!
(Everyone laughs)
Hello? I have to go!!!
Pete:Sit down, Mr. Fetterman... but don't crush that big hog of yours!
Bernie:Pardon me?
Pete:I said Tyler's on the horn from college
Bernie:Quickly, give me the phone! (sniff) Why does this phone smell so
bad?
Pete:I dunno... I didn't fart in it! But I think my grandma crapped herself...
Bernie:Oh, okay.. Tyler, it's Mr. Fetterman!
Hey, Mr. Fetterman, how you doin?
Do you have a roommate, Tyler?
Yeah, I do...
I must speak to him immediately
He's in the bathroom...
Go get him and bring him to me, now!
Okay... (knock) Hey Brandon!
Brandon:Hold on a second! Come on, Oprah... Let me cum in your
bellybutton! Ohmygod! Oh! love it... (flush) Yeah? What's up?
Could you do me a favor and talk to somebody for a minute?
Yeah, sure... Hello?
Bernie: Hello to you, my friend!
Who dis?
The question isn't who I am, the question is who are you?
Um... What does that mean?
It means you can't escape the truth! What are your plans? To turn Tyler
into a giant recording machine so you that you can take my thoughts to
your leader?
Uh... Come again?
What is your real name? Where do you hail from?
Uh, Brandon Seikz, Im from Oceanside, Long Island...
How dumb do you think I am? Your name is 4-7 and you are a robot made
in a factory on the planet Yumnatz!
Really?
I know this because I too have radar!
I see...
We can make this easy or we can make this intensely difficult... The choice
is yours...
Umm... I'll go with not difficult...
Fine... then pass this message along to your leader... I know about the
pidgeons, so that's not gonna work anymore! I also have buried the blender
in the backyard so better luck next time! I am not an amateur!
Did not say you were...
Let's call it a truce, or let's call it the end of mankind as we know it! Either
way, fuck you! Are we clear, 4-7?
Oh, I get it... I'm on the radio!
Then the message has been sent!
Tyler:Just give me the phone, Brandon...
Brandon:Nice talkin to yall!
Bernie:Die, alien!
Tyler:Sorry bout that, dude...
Brandon:Not a problem!
Tyler:Don't worry, Mr. Fetterman, I got everything under control
I know you do, Tyler, and if he causes any trouble just pull his battery
pack, that'll take him out of the game...
Good deal... Let me just say goodbye to my mother...
Right... and remember, no glove no love, alright?
Yeah, I'll remember that...
Nancy!
Pete:Hey, fuckface! Have fun telling ghost stories tonight with your new
pussy friends!
I will...
Suck a hairy nipple! Here, mumsy!
Mom:Stop cursing!
Pete:I wasn't, mom!
Mom:Just go play with your cock and balls...
Pete:Right away, mom...
Alright, baby, did you remember to bring your dandruff shampoo?
Yeah, I did, mom...
Take the label off if you're embarrassed for your roommate to see it...
I will..
Okay, go have fun at the mixer... call us when you get back to your room
Call ya? It's probly gonna be late, ma!
That's no problem, we'll all wait up, bye bye! (click)
Man, my family aint easy to deal with sometimes...
Nobodys is!
What, your family's a little nutty also?
Oh yes... Ya know? I should actually give them a call, too, let em know
I'm okay...
You got it, I'll be in the bathroom whackin it to my grandma eating out
Dee Snyder...
Good deal...(dialing and ringing)
Gay Robot: Hello?
Hey dad!
Hello, son! Did you join a fraternity yet?
I'm workin on it
Well, when you do, I'll come visit so I can fuck all your new brothers!
You're too horny, dad!
True dat!
Hahahahaha
Hahahahaha
Good times...
Great times...
adam sandler - billy madison s victory song
[Billy]
Yes, I will go back to school,
And achieve victory,
No man will take what my father has built
Unless that man is me!
[Veronica]
My Billy, sweet Billy boy,
I knew you would go back,
No one can stop you if you try,
Don't I have a nice rack?
[Billy]
Veronica, I thank you,
For beating the shit out of me.
I see things so clearly now,
I choose my destiny!
[Veronica]
Oh, Billy, I knew you had it in ya!
[Kids]
We're here to help you, Billy,
Get back in school to stay,
You gotta work real hard, and stick it out,
'Til graduation day!
[Clown]
Hey, kids, it's me!
I betcha thought that I was dead!
But when I fell over I just broke my leg
And got a hemmoraghe in my head! [chuckle]
[Everyone]
There are obstacles in the way,
But together we shall overcome,
'Cause you can't break a spirit, and you can't kill a dream,
Do you have any more gum, more gum, more gum, more gum?
[Billy]
Do you have any more gum?
adam sandler - toll booth willie
[Car approaches]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please."
[M1:] "Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!"
[M1:] "Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!
I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!"
[Another car approaches]
[M2:] "Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Hey, can't complain, pop. Hows 'bout you?"
[M2:] "Oh, great, great. How much?"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop."
[M2:] "That's fine. Now should I give you the money,
or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Why you fuckin' hard on!
I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' slugger!
Whadya think of that ass fuck!?"
[Another car approaches]
[F1:] "Hi Willie."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?"
[F1:] "Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out?
I hear your the best with directions."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Well I know my way around New England.
I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?"
[F1:] "Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way
to drive up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me,
I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick."
[Drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you!
You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore!
I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!"
[Another car approaches]
[M3:] "Hey Willie."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Hey, how are ya?"
[M3:] "Here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself."
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Dah, you fuckin' prick!
I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck!
Eat shit! Eat my shit!"
[Another car approaches]
[Bishop Nelson:] "Hello Willie. Good to see you."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya.
That was quite a sermon you had the other day."
[Bishop Nelson:] "Hey, well I do my best."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Dollar twenty-five, Bishop."
[Bishop Nelson:] "Dollar twenty-five,
Willie. Isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job,
you piece of dog shit!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush!
It's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!"
[Another car approaches]
[M5:] "Hey!"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Well hey!"
[M5:] "Yeah, do you want the money,
or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard!
Go suck a corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!"
[Another car approaches]
[F2:] "Hi."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Oh, hi. How are ya?"
[F2:] "Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?"
[Toll Booth Willie:]"For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five."
[F2:] "Here ya go."
[Pays toll]
[F2:] "Thank you."
[Begins to drive off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?"
[F2:] "Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much."
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "And here ya are."
[F2:] "Umm, do you think you could sign it?"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Oh, uh.. sign it?"
[F2:] "Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?"
[Signing receipt]
[F2:] "Just so I could have proof for my friends that
I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive.
You understand."
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch!
I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front
of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!"
[Opens the door and runs out of the booth]
[Car screeches and hits him]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!"
[M6:] "Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!"
[M7:] "Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
dried up stinky dick licker."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Why you fuckin' pricks.
I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying!
When this fuckin' leg heals,
I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes!
[Everyone cussing eachother out]
adam sandler - 7 foot man
We just wrote this song on the bus the other day so just sit back and relax
I'm the 7 foot man,
I've commited no crime,
Bumping my head into doorways,
It happens all the time,
I'm 7 feet tall,
And I repeat,
They dont make a ski boot that can fit my feet,
I'm 7 feet tall,
And I dont play basketball,
I'm 7 feet tall,
But I'm still just a man,
So of course it hurts me a lot,
When I walk into the ceiling fan,
Small people say I wish I was him,
But its been nine years since I've had a trim,
The barber says,
I cant reach the top of his head,
7 foot man,
(ha ha)I cannot hide,
7 foot man,
I know cause I've tried,
7 foot man,
My last girlfriend died,
Because my penis,
Is 7 foot wide!!!!!!!!!
So the next time you see me,
Walking around,
And my head is right about to hit a tree branch,
Tell me to duck down,
And I'll pay you back ,
Soon you will see,
By getting you frisbee down from that tree,
I do what i can,
I'm the 7 foot man,
7 foot man,
7 foot man
adam sandler - a christmas song
So many presents, so little time
Santa won't be coming
By my house this year
'Cause I tried to drown my sister
And I pierced my ear
Oh mama made it perfectly clear
Santa don't like bad boys
Especially Jewish ones
Skanif-kanof and Lego blocks
Are what I desire
So, why'd I have to set
The pizza guy's hair on fire
I told him I was sorry, I'm a liar
So, no toys for me
I don't deserve 'em
I couldn't wait for a big wheel
As the holiday neared
But then I told my grandma
That she had a beard
(speaking) Dear Santa,
I know what my problem is
Why I can't be good
It's a fear of intimacy
You see, my whole life
Whenever I've met someone
really great like you and,
I keep feeling
I'm getting too close to them
Something inside me
Makes me want to screw it up
So in a weird way
The reason I'm so bad is because
I love you so much Santa
Rock 'em, Sock 'em robots
Is what I was hopin' for
But then I made a death threat
To Vice President Gore
Oh Santa won't be knockin' on my door
'Cause he's a big fat whore
What made me say that!?
Chutes and Ladders
Would be so good indeed
So why's I have to sell
That cop a bag of weed
So Santa please give me
My Easy Bake Oven
I swear I thought Billy goats
Were made for lovin'
So Santa won't you
Accept my appoligies
Santa can't you see
I'm beggin' you please
Oh Santa, next year
I'll do you right
Live from New York
It's Saturday Night
adam sandler - assistant principal s big day
[Speaking through a microphone]
"Good morning students and faculty,
If I could have your attention please.
As you may, or may not know,
Principal Cambell will not be here for the rest of the week due to a throat infection.
Leaving me, assistant principal Dunbar,
as the school's lone administrator for the next few days."
"Though the policies set forth by Principal Cambell will remain the same,
there will be some additional regulations you must also follow."
"Number one -
smoking outside the administration building will only be allowed during lunch periods."
"Number two -
the girls' showering facilities will be moved from the locker room into my inner office where I can watch the girls wash their breasts and buttocks while I play with myself."
"Number three -
while showering, none of the girls will be allowed to snicker or laugh at the size of my genitalia.
Eye contact with me is also prohibited."
"Number four -
girls are encouraged to wash each other freely as I build towards orgasm."
"Number five -
while i am ejaculating, the boys gymnastic team must undress each other
spread eagle in front of me and satify each other orally until I have completed ejaculating."
"Finally, rule number six -
any student caught writing grafitti or defacing school property will be automatically suspended,
unless they are masturbating."
"If you have any questions about these new regulations,
I will be in my office spanking it with a thumb up my ass."
"Good day"
adam sandler - at a medium pace
Put your arms around me baby
Can't you see I need you so
Hold me close against your skin
I'm about to begin
Lovin' you
Spit on your hand and stroke my cock
At a medium pace
Play with my balls and tell me
How big they are
Honey, rub your beaver
Up and down my face
Sit on the corner of the bed
And watch me whack off
You see that shampoo bottle
Now stick it up my ass
Push it in and out
At a medium pace
Talk about your old boyfriend's dick
And how big it was
Now shave off my pubes
And punch me in the face
Whoa darlin'
Make me push my dick and balls
Back between my legs
Call me an ugly woman
And take my picture to show
All the people you work with
Now pull up my scrotum
And take the shampoo bottle
Out of my ass
Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy
And watch me whack off
Strap on a dildo
And make me give you head
Tell me to slow down
And do it at a medium pace
I feel so humiliated
I'm about to blow my load
You tell me it's time to make love
But now I can't
'Cause I spewed all over myself
Then you look into my eyes
And you realize
How much I enjoy lovin' you
I'm so sorry I spunked on my stomach
Maybe next time I'll be better at lovin' you
adam sandler - at the mall
Can You Pass The Beats Please?
Here Ya Go
Thanks
Hey Mom, Guess What?
I Got Invited To Party Tonight,
And I'm Gunna Go If Thats Ok With You
NOOOOOO!!!
Why Not Mom?
Yeah, Why Mom, He Should Go
It'll Be Fun
I'll Get To Meet New People
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Oh Mom
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Don't Worry Brad
Hey Mom, I Saw This Great Skirt
At The Mall Today But It Was 34 Dollars
Which Isn't That High Of A Price
But I Was Nervious To Buy It
What Do You Think?
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Really?
I Really Like It
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Oh Mom, Who Is?
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Mom Your So Parranoid
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Hey Mom, I Have To Get Up Pretty Early Tomarrow
For Little League Try-Outs
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I Have To Be At The Field At 9 O' Clock
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Do You Think You Can Drop Me Off Tomarrow
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
How Am I Gunna Get There?
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
I'll Walk I Guess
NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Mom, Can You Pass The Salad Dressing?
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Please
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Come On Mom
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I'll Get It For You Cindy
Thanks Brad
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Thanks For The Tip Mom
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Hey Everyone, Let's Just Go Out For Ice Cream
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Why Are We Eating Inside?
It's A Beautiful Night
We Need To Get Out More
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Mother, Brad Is Right
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
We Should Go Out, It'll Be Fun
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Yes, Comeon, Let's Go
I Could Go For Some Maple Walnuts
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Yeah, We Haven't Gone Out Togather In A Long Time
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
You Wanna Go Dave?
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
No, I'll Hang Out With Mom
Ya Sure?
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Yeah, Go Without Me
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
How Are Ya Mom?
Great Meal Tonight
Sure Is
Ya Sure Know How To Cook
Boy O Boy
Your Quite A Lady
Say Mom, Can I Go Cannuing Next Weekend With My Friend
Barry
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Please
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Mom, Your Over Reacting
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Why Are You Over Protective?
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
Mom, I'm Going To The Ice Cream Place
Your Just So Set In Your Ways
It Drives Me Crazy
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!
THEY'RE ALL GUNNA LAUGH AT HIM!!!
adam sandler - baby got jack
[intro]
Yo yo, flyda, check that homegirl's butt out
Mmmhmm, girl, it's so flat!
You tell it like it is, aisha
She looks like one of them lawyer's girlfriends
I mean her butt... it's just so small...
We're talkin slim pickin's, girl
What up, aisha.. where is it? i don't even... see it!
Look...girl, she's just so.......white!
I like small butts and i cannot lie
You honkies can't deny
When a girl walks in with an iddy biddy waist and a big thing
In your face i get sick!
Cos i like a toothpick
I'll beat that booty with a stick
Even the jeans she's wearin
Her pants are almost tearin!
No baby, i want a flat booty
That's tooty-fruity
The honkies tried to warn me
That butt you got is.....ooh, so corny!
Ooh chicken smooth skin
Ya say ya wanna get ma old?
Well peck me, peck me
Cos ya ain't that average chickadee
Hell with romancin
I'll take her wallet dancin
Rich... bitch
I'll dig for her money ditch
So tired of ebony
Black butts are not my theme
If ya ask me what my flavour is i'll tell ya its vanilla ice cream
So honkies (yeah!)
Honkies (yeah!)
Does ya girlfriend have a derriere? (hell yeah!)
Well shrink it, shrink it
So i can get right down and dink it
Baby got jack
(white honkies with a real small booty)
(white honkies with a real small booty)
Baby got jack
(white honkies with a real small booty)
(white honkies with a real small booty)
I like 'em flat and small
And when i'm in the mall
I just can't help myself
I'm doin the dog pound call (woof, woof, woof, woof)
Don't like a sister
Who farts while playin twista
I wish those beans did miss her
Even uncle ben would fist her
I like my booties real slender and tender
An' if i see a big booty
I'll put it in the blender
Don't want a rear fender
I get into my honda
What the hell is an anaconda?!
All i know is i like jane fonda's
Better than yolanda's
Baby got jack
(white honkies with a real small booty)
(white honkies with a real small booty)
Baby got jack
(white honkies with a real small booty)
(white honkies with a real small booty)
Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo knows everything what they're talkin about
36-24-36
Ha
Only if she's 7'8"
Flat on the bottom an' i like it like that
Flat on the bottom an' i like it like that
adam sandler - back 2 school
Ohhhhhhh
Back To School
Back To School
To Prove To Dad That I'm Not A Fool
I've Got My, Luch Packed Up
My Boots Tied Tight
I Hope I Don't Get In A Fight
Ohhhh
Back To School
Back To School
Back To School
adam sandler - bad boyfriend
Why don't you pick up after your done?
I'm not your slave
I'm not your mother
I'm not your maid
I mean I've got a life too
So fuck you!
Why can't you be nicer to my friend?
They're gonna be here soon
Last time they were here
You just sat in the bedroom
Friday you went out with your fat friend Lou
Fuck you!
Why don't you ever ask about my Chinese cooking class?
I only took it 'cause you like moo shu
Fuck you!
I'm sorry honey, about the way I've been acting lately
Fuck you!
Don't be like that, we'll visit your mom when I get some time off
Fuck you!
I had the beer at work, for God's sake
Fuck you!
By the way, would it be cool to go golfing tommorrow?
Fuck you!
I was just kidding, I wanna hang out with you
Why don't you ever take me to a play?
Or a museum?
There's an art gallery two blocks away
And we've never been there
We always do what you wanna do
Fuck you!
You didn't notice
I got new throw pillows for the sofa
You didn't notice I had the kitched painted blue
Why don't you notice all those guys looking at me?
You take me for granted
Do you know there's a guy at work that always asks me out to lunch?
I always try to look my best and you should too
Fuck you!
Why won't I ever get out of this relationship?
You're such a jerk
The only thing you do right is
Tell me that you love me
Well, I guess I love you too
But fuck you!
Seriously
adam sandler - best friend
When I´m at the bus stop and you drive by in your mom´s car
You tell me the bus already left
Cause you´re my best friend!
When I´m at the locker and my shirt´s buttoned wrong
You tell me to fix it
Cause you´re my best friend
Best friends tell you you got boogers on your nose
Best friends don´t laugh when you wear your grandpa´s clothes
You´re my best friend!
When those guys ripped up my ticket for the Mariah Carey show
You told me it wasn´t that great
Cause you´re my best friend (You´re my best friend!)
When those guys gave me the wrong directions to Mark Hagen´s party
You told me it wasn´t that great
Cause you´re my best friend! (You´re my best friend!)
Best friends tell you when you got Cheetos in your teeth
Best friends dont ring your doorbell then punch you in the chest
You´re my best friend!
(Best friends!) Dont call you Pit Stains or Marphy
(Best friends!) Way back when you waved hello!
(Best friends!) Don´t hold their nose and point at you
(Best friends!) Help you find your hat
Oh, you´re not just a friend
You´re my best friend
(Take it!)
When those mean girls stole my pants and tied me to the front gate of the school
You told the teacher I was out there
Why? Cause you´re my best friend! (You´re my best friend!)
When Mr. Koocher´s dog ran at me and bit me in the stomach
You were playing football so you couldn´t help but I know you would´ve
Cause you´re my best friend (You´re my best friend!)
(Best friends!) Don´t kneel behind you while the other guys push you
(Best friends!) Don´t step on your sandwiches!
(Best friends!) Help you out of the caf. garbage can
(Best friends!) Don´t tell you that Tracy Garner wants to dance with you
Oh, you´re not just a friend... you´re my best friend!
Oh, you´re not just a friend! You´re my best... friend!
Call me back!
adam sandler - buddy
Moving Train]
"Next stop! Coopersville!"
[Two guys talking]
"Hey Buddy"
"Buddy!"
"How was the bathroom Buddy, pretty gruesome?"
"Buddy, I had to hold my breath Buddy!"
"Eheh Buddy, don't even tell me about it Buddy!"
"Buddy I know."
"Buddy, M&M's?"
"Chocolate me, Buddy!... Tasty Buddy!"
"Buddy definitely"
"Hey get in on this drink Buddy!"
"Buddy, don't mind if I do"
"It's a bloody, Buddy"
"Buddy, it's killer!"
"BUDDY!"
"Sorry Buddy"
"Save me some Buddy!"
"Buddy I said I was sorry!"
"That's ok Buddy"
[Two more guys enter]
"Hey Dude!"
"Hey Buddy!"
"Dudes, you know this dude?"
"What's up Dude?"
"Hey Buddy"
"Buddy, sit down"
"Have some bloody Buddy"
"Dude"
"Dudes, here's a sixer, Budweiser time"
"Yeah, Bud Buddy"
"Yeah Dude"
"Cold ones Dude"
"Buddy, killer!"
[Drinking]
"I'm buzzing Buddy!"
"Dude, I know!"
[Female walking by]
"Oh Dude, check it, she's killer!"
"I want some of that Buddy"
"Oh Buddy, save some for me"
"Dude, that's my ex-girlfriend"
"Oh, sorry Buddy"
"Just watch it Dude!"
"Hey lay off him Buddy"
"Dude, don't get him started"
"I said I was sorry Buddy"
"Dude, let's just drop it"
"Buddy?"
"It's cool Dude"
[Two more guys enter]
"Hey Homey's"
"What's up Homeys?"
"Hey Buddy"
"What's up Dude?"
"Just chillin' Homey"
"Cool Buddy"
"Yeah Dude"
"Buddy"
"Homey"
"Dude"
"Homey"
"Dude"
"Buddy"
"Dude, check it out, a prison"
"Oh Buddy, imagine being stuck in there"
"I know Dude, that would suck"
"Homey, my brother is in there"
"Oh Buddy"
"Sorry about that Dude"
"Bummer Buddy"
"Bad timing Homey"
"I know Buddy"
"Sorry Dude"
"Not your fault Homey"
"I know, but Buddy"
"No, it's cool Homey"
"Dude, there's another train on this track"
[Sound of another train]
"Uh Buddy, it's coming at us"
[Train horn sounding]
"Dude!"
"Homey!"
"Buddy!"
"Buddy!"
"Homey!"
"DUDE!"
[Trains crashing]
"Dude?"
"Buddy, my head"
"Homey, get off me"
"Buddy, I can't see"
"What just happened to us Dude?"
"Homey, I told you, we should have taken the bus!"
adam sandler - bum biddy
Everyone in this room has been associated with Whitey either through basketball or the mall or various odd jobs
he does around town for free or at most a dollar!
And I'm guessing 99% of you have either laughed in Whitey's face or ruthlessly made fun of his feet or sister or shortness
when he wasn't looking!
But the next time you'd see him he'd still go out of his way to smile and wave at you and ask about your mother's operation
or something like that because he unlike us actually cares about someone other than himself!
The reason I bring this up to you,
Is because I was the worst offender of all.
My life was simply going nowhere
Then a tiny little man rushed to my side
He should've gotten a big thank you
Instead he got a porta-potti ride.
I was such a shithead
But he'd never quit on me
Til' I told him he was useless
And his sister was freaky.
Once when we were watching Sunday football
A fuzzy screen was all that we could see
Whitey came over with a hanger
And spent the game on top of our TV,
And when the lightning struck him
He let out a wicked loud yell
But we just turned up the volume
And ignored the burning smell
We should all rot in Hell!
I went to High School with Whitey
As a joke I told him to meet me at the prom
When he got there I said I can't beleive you though I was serious
So he ran home crying and slow danced with his mom!
What a crushing blow to Whitey
I bet you wish you could take it back
How could yo all be so mean to Whitey
Seems to me like you are all on crack!
Tonight Whitey was counting on this town
To show that we care
But the first time he really needed us
We weren't there!
And on Christmas Eve and the last night of Chanukah!
It's just not fair!
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum, I wonder
iftat guyever wiped his ass with the wrong hand! yes.
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum,
bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum, bumbiddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum!
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