the optimist

Hilary Duff

Last night I went to see a hypnotist
Asked her to teach me not to dream
I ve got too much I think about
An overdrawn account of people
I ve been too afraid to need
She said, I m no history revisionist
And there s some things I can t undo
You ve got a tiny splinter on
The tip of your finger
It demands all the attention in the room

I wish I could sleep on planes
And that my father would really love me
He d show up on my wedding day
And tell my family they re all so lucky
He d tell me how he wish he d stayed
And that he never meant to disappoint me
But til then I ll exist as the optimist

I was an emotional architect
Who knew your dimensions more than you
I learned which way you turned your back
To let go of eye contact
And which bottles made you feel most immune

I wish I could sleep on planes
And that my father would really love me
I wouldn t have to feel such shame
Around how often and how deep it cuts me
He d call me almost every day
How s the weather? Are you eating, honey?
But til then I ll exist as the optimist

(Mm-mm, mm-mm)
(Mm-mm, mm-mm)
(Mm-mm, mm-mm)
(Mm-mm, mm-mm)
(Mm-mm, mm-mm)
(Mm-mm, mm-mm)
(Mm-mm, mm-mm)
(Mm-mm)

I know a dirty little magic trick
To disappear and disconnect
Maybe I learned it from the best
Thank you, I guess, yeah
If you saw it I bet I d earn your respect

I wish I could sleep on planes
And that my father would really love me
It wouldn t take his dying day
Some sort of signature that he needs from me
My door is open just in case
You don t even have to say you re sorry
I already forgive you for all of it

But it s hard to exist as the optimist