be bop tango of the old jazzmen s church

Frank Zappa

Some of you may know that the tango
Which is not a very popular dance anymore
Was at one time reputed to be
a dance of unbridled passion
Back in the old days when it wasn t so easy
to get your rocks off
When it was hard to make contact
with a member of the opposite camp
And you had to resort to things like
dancing close together And going hey

Those were the days
Well those days are probably gone forever
I don t know
Unless Nixon is going to bring them back
a little bit later
But we have this very special
highly evolved permutated tango
It s actually a perverted tango
By the time... Yes, it s so perverted!
This is the Be-Bop Tango
A special entertainment event
that includes choreography a little bit later
so watch out folks

You can turn on the big lights
we may need em
You know, the ones in the audience
Heh heh. Okay, re you ready?
Not too fast now

cause I wanna get the right notes on the tape
N this, this has to be the one
This has to be the one
with all the right notes on it
Okay, re you ready? This is a hard one to play
One two three four

The cowbell as a symbol of unbridled passion
ladies and gentlemen

Now, as you might have noticed
Bruce Fowler has just completed
some sort of trombone solo
Based on the-ah, idea of an evolved
tango-event
Bruce has also prepared for you
a demonstration of a dance
That he hopes will sweep the ocean
right after the Mud Shark did
Bruce is now warming up
the important muscles of the body
In preparation... in preparation
for the real live Be-Bop Tango
Which we re gonna demonstrate
Napoleon will assist him
Napoleon just put your horn down
Just relax, Put your head back
Here comes the drill
Okay, heh heh heh
you know what I m talkin about? Okay

This is sort of like jazz
in it s own peculiar way
Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny!
Okay, let s go! Yeah man, jazz man
you know what I mean? This is Be-Bop
Even though you think
it doesn t sound like that
Be-Bop! Now, as you might have noticed
Some of you with a musical education
Can tell that the notes
that George just sang when he went
This is Be-Bop, even though
you think it doesn t sound like that
Is actually a sort of a twisted form
of the theme of the tango itself
Which will get even more depraved
as the number goes on
George will now attempt
to dismember that melody
Play it and sing it at the same time while
Tu-dup. Hey, that s the way!
While we sort of dance to it
Okay, try it George. Tu-dup, tu-dee
Oh yeah! As I was saying
Now, what we d like to do at this point
Is get some volunteers from the audience to
I know you will, oh God you will
We need some... heh heh heh
Now, as a matter of fact you did, didn t you
No, we wanna have
some people who ve never tried it bef
ore, Who ve never even thought of trying it
before. A boy, a girl
preferably who like each other
Who would like to come up here and attempt
to dance to what George sings
Do we have anybody who is... you re one

Okay, what s your name?

Carl

Your name is Carl?
Please Carl step on to the stage
Pleased to meet you Carl
Alright. Okay? Let s see-ah
is there anybody in the, in the back?
Where... oh-oh, hey! What s your name?

Rick

Rick, and?

Jane

Rick and Jane and Carl!
Alright, here s how it works
There s a beat going on like this
That s a pedestrian beat
You don t dance to that beat
You dance to what George sings, okay?
The little ones, okay?
The little quick ones, okay?
Ready? George, make them dance!

Dup. No no Rick, you re too reserved
Ready? Give it to em George!
Tu-dup, tu-dup pu-dee-da
No no, come on now, loosen up
Listen, encourage them! When it
Ah! Okay! Alright, one more time: dance!

Tu-dup, du-dee-da
Let s study this phenomenon
Tu-duppy-dup-pu-dee-da
Now look, Rick and Jane and Carl
You re, you re wonderful
but you re just too reserved
I still can... I know you will
maybe in a minute
Okay, I ll t-tell you what
Go back to your seats
and we ll bring up the next batch
Okay? Carl, Rick and Jane! Alright
you wanna try... ?

Anything you say Frank!

Oh my God! Alright
you re name is Lana, right? Lana dance!

Du-dup-dee-dup
Now that s more like it
Du-dup-dee-dup
Lana, you re so good
we have to bring up some other people
to assist you. Brenda
imported from Edward s Air Force Base
where she... Ladies and gentlemen
Brenda... Brenda is a professional harlot
And she just got finished stripping
for a bunch of guys
at Edward s Air Force Base
And she made it down here
in time for the show
Two hours of taking it off for the boys
in the car, really good
Okay. Heh. Brenda
Brenda has a lovely assistant named Carl
Or Robert James Davis if you prefer
Herb Cohen, ladies and gentlemen!
Okay, dance!

Du-du-dip... You re still too adagio
I keep telling you! Du-dup-du-dee-da
Turn on the bubble machine!
Dup-dee-da, dup-dee-da
God, is that a cheap bubble-machine!
Bow, du-du-du-du-du-da
Ladies and gentlemen
Don s ex-wife! Ladies and gentlemen
You re probably sitting in your chairs
Saying to yourselves: I could do that
And of course you can!
And now is your big chance!
All you have to do, The first step is easy
All you gotta do is stand up
Go ahead, just stand up
There you go, you are standing up
Yes, some of you are not standing up
But you won t have as much fun
as the ones who are standing up
Okay, turn on the big lights
so everybody can see what s going on
Yes, very many of you are standing up
Okay, link your mind
with the mind of George Duke! And when

Du-dup... That s it!
When he plays those funny fast little notes
Twitch around and have a good time
with the Be-Bop Tango
Let s try it! Anything you wanna do is alright
You gotta do anything you wanna do
it s alright. Yes you got to know
you came to the right place, tonight
(Give me some of that wine now)
As you might have guessed
ladies and gentlemen, This is
the end of our concert
We like to thank you ver
Wanna thank you very much for coming
Hope you had a good time
Bruce Fowler on trombone
Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax
and lead vocals, Ruth Underwood on percussion
Ralph Humphrey on drums
Chester Thompson on drums
Tom Fowler on bass
And George Duke on the keyboards
Thank you very much. Alright, alright