bitch went nuts

Ben Folds

I took her with me to the Christmas office party, mistake
She did a line and started spouting all her liberal garbage Bro, I'm so ashamed.

I never heard such shit in all my life
I hoped one day to mold you into the perfect wife
But you blew my hopes sky high

The bitch went nuts
Started talking about politics
In front of all my bosses, bullshit from the internet
The bitch went nuts
I'll never be a partner at this rate
Not with Jane fucking Fonda Jr. as my date

Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh!

It took me and a couple of men to restrain her
you should've seen her.
When she freaked out and keyed John Franklin Jr.'s brand new...Beamer

She called us biggest with her fist in the air
And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair
Now they think that I'm a fucking asshole

The bitch went nuts.
Started talking about vegetables
to the wives of all my coworkers
Yeah, cruelty to animals

She thinks because she reads books she must be smarter
But now when I close my eyes, I'll be fucking Jimmy Carter

Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh no, no!

Couldn't you have just nodded and smiled
From nine to twelve pm
Instead of telling your conspiracy theories
To all my bosses
And all my friends?

The bitch went nuts (Nuts!)
Started putting down the Christians
And all about what the white man did to the Indians

How could I know that she never done blow before?
She shouted "fuck Dick Cheney!" and then she puked on the Franklin's floor.

Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh no, no! Oh no! Oh right.