hieeee

Alaska Thunderfuck

Greetings
My name's yours
What's Alaska?

Everybody Welcome to the show
The rules of engagement are
Really quite simple
So if you could pull yourself
Away from Grindr for two seconds
Listen up

The use of flash photography is strictly mandatory
Do you think I look like this so
I can exist in your feeble memory? (HA!)
Take a picture and i'll last forever!
Get your drinks now people
The more you drink, the prettier we look

Is this your boyfriend, honey?
Not anymore! Tipping is compulsory
If you don't know what compulsory means
I'll spell it out for you Tip. These. Men!

It takes a lot of money to look this cheap darling!
Be kind to your entertainers
If you see a flaw, squint
If you see a bulge, don't be mad!
Some of the most beautiful women
In the world have gigantic penises!
If you see something you don't like
Something unseemly or offensive
Something vile or disgusting
We'll be happy to take your
Complaints after the show!
At the corner of 'fuck you
And go fuck yourself avenue.com!'
I'll see you there! Bring a sweater

If you think you can do better, sweetheart
I implore you
Put on a wig and mash your mouth around
To other people's music for 4 and a half minutes
It's not as easy as it looks!
Do you need a hairpiece?
Here, you can borrow mine!

Show generosity to these monstrosities!
Respect, kindness, compassion!
And most of all, whenever possible
Tell us we look gorgeous
Tell us we look gorgeous
Tell me I look gorgeous!
Do I look gorgeous? (YEAH!)
Okay, but how about sexy? (YEAH!)
Okay, alright, but how about sensual? (YEAH!)
Alright, but how about breathtaking? Jeez! (YEAH!)
I swear its like pulling teeth to get
A little tiny compliment out of you people!
Now let's review everybody!

Your makeup is terrible
If you're not wearing nails, you're not doing drag
Don't ever touch my hair Anus
I love your pussy Give me all your money
Absolutely Come on nature!
Come on natch! Come on build-up!
OKCURRRRRRRR

Hieeeeeee! Hieeeeeee!
Hieeeeeee!
Everybody, everywhere
Everybody, everywhere
Hieeeeeee!
Hiee, hiee, hieee, hieee, hiee
Hieeeeeeee!