chr!$tm@$ $ux

Alaska Thunderfuck

Ugh
It s already Christmas time again
Oh, man
My parents just don t understand

I want a Girl Talk, but they got me a Jenga
Wanted Nintendo, but they got me a Sega
I opened that envelope, and what the heck?
Grandma just gave me a $5 check (Ugh!)

Christmas sucks, Christmas sucks
Wanna bet me? I ll bet you a million bucks
Christmas sucks, Christmas sucks
Don t mess with me, I don t give a dang

Trucks, and trains, and tinker toys
I don t want that junk, that stuff s for boys
Barbie dolls, Barbie dolls
All I ever ever wanted was Barbie dolls
Skipper, Tracy, Christy, Stacy
Feeling so Shameless like William H. Macy
I might be snails and puppy dog tails
But, I like big hair, and I like long nails (Yeah!)

Christmas sucks, Christmas sucks
Wanna bet me? I ll bet you a million bucks
Christmas sucks, Christmas sucks
Don t mess with me, I don t give a dang

Oh, my goodness
What is that glowing heavenly light over there, descending from the snow-filled sky?
It s me, Alaska, The Ghost of Christmas Presents
And I m here to tell you a little something about your situation, sweetheart
Girl, why you complaining?
You re not in India starving
It s not like you don t have nothing
You re so dang spoiled, it s alarming
You got some parents that love you, a brother that bugs you
So lucky that you got a rooftop above you
Christmas is cool, so get into it
You get what you get and you don t throw a fit

Christmas rocks! Christmas rocks!
Look, I just got a pair of tube socks!
Christmas rocks! Christmas rocks!
I can even make a fort out of the box!
Christmas rocks! Christmas rocks!
You wanna bet me? I ll bet you a million bucks
Thank you mom and dad, I can t really be sad
Cause after all, Christmas isn t really so bad